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Tag Archives: Punjabi. Urdu-speaking

But Why Do Punjabi Women Fall For The “Karachiite-type” Men?

Jaani, kuch to baat hai hum mein

The idea of Urdu-speaking larkaas falling for Punjabi mutyaars caught on like fire! We all saw much of ourselves in that earlier blog. So many of us related to it. As did I, because of my half-Punjabi streak (the other half is Sindhi, but that part will need another blog;)).

What makes perfect sense is that if in the 6th most populous nation in the world, Pakistan that is, a HUGE number of Karachiite-type men are falling for and are with Punjabi women, a complimenting number of Punjabi women have also statistically fallen for, and agreed to be with, and “LIKE” (more than in the FB “like” kind of liking) the Urdu-speaking variety of guys.

So what’s so special about the Karachiite-type dudes? Why do many Punjabi girls choose them over the bhangra-ofying, equally colourful, jazbaati, food-loving, mostly good looking, from the same gene pool, khulla dulla Punjoo guys?

Let’s find out:

1. The Namak Factor:

They are not always lookers. They are not always hunks. But the Karachiite boys have something going for them….something that works! Not always gora chitta, but mostly attractive in a rugged kind of way. It could be the tanned complexions owing to roughing it out on Nipa chowrangi or catching the bus that takes you Karachi University. Or maybe because they have been doing the wheelies on the Honda 70 on Jail Road. But even the ones with FX Suzukis and the Corollas and the Civics etc….even if they are usually in air-conditioned cars, and even if they are Delhi walas with  fair complexions, they have, well, what is called attraction. It’s like the Khewra salt mines peppered the Karachi guys with namak. Kuch baat hoti hai!

2. The “Opposites Attract” Factor:

Punjabi girls have seen, since they were doing kiklee kaleer dee, boys which are like their daddies and chachoos and phupha jees…..the same kinda culture. The “saying it on your face”. The warmth and affection for which you never have to work hard because in a Punjabi family every body is perpetually in a “maa sadqay jaye” zone (trust me, I know this one!). The “pehle bolo, phir tolo” attitude. The potential to get all emo, angry or sad very soon, and get back to normal equally quickly. The loud volume. The khul ke hansna.

While all of this is awesome in it’s own way, she enjoys the change when she meets a man who thinks before he speaks. For whose attention you have to work hard if you want it consistently (I’m not talking about the first 6 months of marriage here), because the thrill of the chase is not only reserved for men. She likes the manly-but-not-irritatingly-macho style. In many ways he is gentler. And he also brings out the best in her – within months of being with him, she realizes that he has inner censorship beeps. She is suddenly in the “aap ye leejiye” zone. She enjoys the transition from “haan jee” to “jee haan”, just like he enjoys going from “jee haan” to “haan jee”. Why, even if he has to scold her, he will probably say “zabaan sambhaal kar baat keejiye aap, zyada bakwaas mat keejiye” instead of……!!! And he will very soon be calling your mom “ammi jaan“! Of course, the Karachiite boys also have the “abay tu kya keh rahi hai” side to them, alongwith the tehzeeb o tamaddun.

He will not say “Inna pairha salan pakaya jai”. He will instead praise your badly cooked salan so smartly that he will eventually bring out the khidmat guzaar biwi in you. This is unlike what you have known all your life! So it is attractive in a weird way.

It’s completely the opposite. Life takes a 360 degree turn with him. That’s both attractive, and complimentary. The combo works!

3. The Attitude – The X Factor:

What do Urdu-speaking, and particularly Karachiite guys owe their attitude to? It’s probably the multi-cultural, cut throat, no-time-for-nonsense, on the go, fast-paced, dangerous nature of the city of Karachi that makes them have this attitude. They have a defiant streak. Perpetually on the hum kisee se kum naheen roll. Even if they weigh 45 kgs, they feel like they can take on a man double their size. They are street smart in a very tehzeeb yaafta way, but it’s written on their forehead that “honey, mere saath badtameezi naheen chalay gee“. Whether they are in a naqsheen Lucknowi kurta or looking all unkempt in a pair of jeans, warn out loafers and a shirt from Zainab market, they have the same attitude. The “HUM” attitude – and this self-assured streak, though irritating and a pain at times, is attractive. The damsel in distress inside every woman likes a man who takes charge, specially when he does so politely.

Sharaafat ki zabaan samajh lo jaan e mann!!

4. He Is ALSO A Foodie In The Closet: 

Other parts of Pakistan have a known reputation for being the food capital. Lahore and Lahoris, for instance, are synonymous with khaana peena. But Urdu-Speaking men are no less. In fact, they are more picky and particular about food and related combinations. They will not just devour food. They will notice subtle details like “aloo gosht mein aaloo lambai mein katnay chahiyein, choraai mein naheen”, and “qormay ke saath sheermaal chalay ga” and “Tower ki chaanpon ki kya baat hai” and “nihari to bhaii bong hee ki achi banti hai” and “maash ki daal par to moti laal mirach ka bhigaar hota hai, haree mirach ka naheen” and “Zahid ki nihari? Naheen yar. Malik ki baat aur hai. Wohi Burns Road wala”.

So if the begum is  a Punjoo and a food lover too, the combination works. One big happy foodie family.

5. Urdu-Speaking Men Are Better Husbands (Myth, Or Reality!)

That’s the general perception, at least. That they are gentle and keep their temper and tongues under check. That they allow the khawateen in their life more empowerment. That it’s the women and not the men in a typically Karachiite household that rule, but in a civil, polite manner.

But bhaiyya, the truth is that Lahore ya Karachi, Quetta ho ya Sukkur, Peshawer ho ya Multan, har shareef aadmi is afraid of the mood swings and tantrums of the woman in his life, whether the tantrums are the “silent but deadly” kind or the openly volatile kind.

So guys, whether you are from Lahore or Karachi, agar apni khair chahiye and you wanna be happy then treat your woman with love and respect. The more you give, the more you get 😀

Why Do the “Karachiite-type” Men Fall For Punjabi Women?

Ballay ballay baii tor Punjaban dee….

I begin with the disclaimer that this blog is not for 3 kinds of people:

1. Those who have an issue with the sweeping generalizations I am about to make in the spirit of fun, though parts will be definitely based on truth and years of research-based observation.

2. Ladies who are non-Punjabi and take the title as a jibe against themselves, and say to themselves “what does she mean? Don’t men like non-Punjabi women? She doesn’t know what she’s talking about! I know my husband would never be able to do with a Punjabi woman…..they’re so loud!”

3. Punjabi women who, well, have ended up with the “non-Karachiite-type” thaith, purely Punjoo men.

Ok so it just me or do you see it all around you? Out of the inter-provincial, inter-cultural marriages, engagements and other stuff, as a Karachiite I have always seen non-Punjabi men falling for Punjabi women. I on purpose used the term “karachiite-type” men, but to be more specific, we can use the term “Urdu-Speaking” men. So WHY do urdu-speaking men keep falling for Punjabi women? Specially considering the fact that many stereo-typical terms are associated with Punjabi women: Loud. Tacky. Dominating. Laraaki. Big in size. And again, loud.

We seem to forget, generally, the beautiful, slender, groomed and talented Punjabi girls who are quite the norm. It seems like the image that comes to our mind when we say “Punjabi girl” is a big-sized female in a colourful Laacha, helping irrigate Pakistan’s agricultural lands by jumping in the fields trying to entertain a disinterested man, or eating a HUGE paratha dripping with ghee, and yelling so loudly that her lungs are about to fall off on G T Road, screaming “mere naal bakwaas na keeta kar naeen te tera bootha tor diyaan gee”. And yes, she IS pretty, even though she is all of the above.

Yet, day after day, the civil, tameezdaar and wonderfully peace-loving Karachiite (or Urdu-speaking) men fall in love with Punjabi women. And not just them. The other provinces have joined in too……Sindhis, Balochs, Pathans. The question remains “why”?

A few probable answers I discovered, after careful observation and asking around, are these:

1. Need a Change:

“All my life,” said a friend when he was choosing a girl to marry at the ripe old age of 23, “I have seen my mom, sisters, cousins, aunts – so proper. They don’t laugh too loud. They talk in aap janaab. They wear light blues and pastel pinks and beige. And I am like that too….the subtle aap janaab type. So somehow, the idea of a colourful lady in red appeals to me. Who laughs to her hearts desire and speaks her mind. You know, Phuljharee-type.” “Phuljharee-type?” I asked him to confirm I had heard correctly. “Yes yes. the Phuljhuree, Titlee type. For a change you know,” he affirmed. That’s when I somehow understood it. The firecracker butterfly fun brand  actually works for a lot of men. That DOES NOT mean other provinces and ethnicities are bereft of phuljharees. But maybe it is inbuilt genetic selection that men seem to like the “made in Punjab” variety increasingly.

2. The “Khulla Dulla Ishtyle”

“At least with a Punjabi girl, you don’t spend your life wondering what’s under the cool demeanour,” said another anon friend. (And yes, it’s better my informants stay unnamed, lest they face consequences at the hands of the non-Punjoo women in their lives!). “She is who she is. Ghussay mein ho ya khush, kam az kam pata to chal jaata hai. You know how we men are, yaar. We are bad mind-readers, and women expect us to be just that. At least this way, you know that it is what it is. In your face. Jo hay wo hay. At least she’ll say it and not keep it in her heart for the next decade,” he said. And that’s one general impression about Punjabis that yes, under the umbrella term “Punjabi” come people who are not afraid to be. Plus, they are less formal and more casual. Less takallufaat and formalities, and more of Lath Maar stuff.

3. They Are Lookers:

“For guys, it’s all about looks. And Punjabi girls are mostly good looking. For me that is the single most important factor. As it is, I like her to be not stick thin,” said another informant. Need I say more?

4. They Have A Lot Of Fire:

With the package of the whole loud, khulla dulla ishtyle, comes a genuine spirited fieriness. Being passionate. Being fiesty. Humourous. Hulla gulla and fun. “I’m telling you, the ‘wujood e zann se hai tasweer e kainaat mein rang‘ wala shair was written for Punjoo girls,” said one know-it-all, in his second year of a happy engagement with a Punjabi girl, while he himself has ancestors from Lucknow. My two cents to my friend were: Make sure you know how to handle the fire, before you get scalded.

5. They Are Such Foodies:

And men like food. So in a Punjabi girl, they dream of someone who will be able to share his excitement over puri bhaaji, nihari, gola kabab, kharay masalay ka qeema and biryani. But she will also bring into his life the joys of aloo kay parathay, murgh cholay, sarson ka saag and makkai ki roti, and Punjabi pulao. She will understand the cliche that the way to his heart is through his tummy, simply because hey, the way to HER heart is also through her tummy.

To each his own. Whatever ethnicity works for you, go for it. And rather than the ethnicity, whatever “package deal” works for you, go for it. Meanwhile, let me sit and think over a sequel – Why Do Punjabi Women Fall For Karachiite-type Guys!

Link to the sequel: https://chaaidaani.wordpress.com/2012/03/20/but-why-do-punjabi-women-fall-for-the-karachiite-type-men/