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King of Sweets – Gulab Jamun is now Pakistan’s National Sweet

A perfect gulab jamun, not hard at the core, not mushy and soft to break down, is now Pakistan’s national sweet

King of sweets
In the midst of macabre headline news, Pakistan’s favourite comfort food made it big. The nayi government of naya Pakistan ran a poll on Twitter as the naya saal (New Year) ushered in: “Which should be the National Sweet of Pakistan?” There were three options: jalebi, gulab jamun, and barfi. More than 15,000 people voted, and gulab jamun won with 47 percent votes.

The poll I subsequently run on my facebook page had just two options: gulab jamun contended only by barfi. Gulab jamun won by a whopping 79 percent votes.

However, are polls on social media enough to decipher what is Pakistan’s favourite indulgence when it comes to a sweet tooth? There has been an uproar among social media users who complain that there was no national consultation in this important existential debate. However, at grassroots level, gulab jamun does seem to have tugged at the nation’s heartstrings. Mithai sellers and caterers confirm that gulab jamun is indeed the hottest selling item [pun intended] as they taste best when warm, bordering on hot.

The historical origins of gullus, as gulab jamuns are often fondly called, are often traced back to the times of Mughal emperors, particularly Shah Jahan. Folklore has it that Shah Jahan’s royal chef accidentally fused elements and by a stroke of fate, a sweet from heaven found its way on earth. Other food historians claim that its origins are Turkish or Persian. As diverse as the language in which its name is taken, which is Urdu, gulab jamun seems to be wrapped in layers of culture and history. Whatever its trajectory may have been, it is part of the very essence of happiness in the subcontinent.

Gulab jamuns are like all good thing in life. It has to be just right, and one mistake can be unforgiving. A perfect gulab jamun requires technique, skill, precision, accuracy, and above all patience. They cannot afford to be hard at the core, but also cannot be so mushy and soft that they break down — just like a well-rounded person [pun again intended]. The reduced milk — khoya — which forms the basic ingredient of the dough of the tempting dessert, is derived after painstakingly cooking milk till it evaporates, leaving behind khoya. Once these dough balls are fried and are light brown, or blackish if it is a kala jamun, they are then soaked in sugar syrup. The syrup was originally rose-flavoured, which gives it the suffix “gulab”.

Now, the rose essence is optional. But the sugar syrup or “sheera” as we Pakistanis lovingly call it, is a must. As an avid gulab jamun fan said when asked why she loves, “the sheera drips into my soul… it makes everything seem alright”. Warm it a bit and it melts in the mouth. Put it in zarda (sweet saffron rice) and a bite with tiny gulab jamun makes you thank God for the good life. Have it after dinner or compliment it with chai. Gulab jamuns allure you. It is perhaps these enchanting qualities of the gulab jamun that make it the popular choice.

As a barfi lover, it is not easy for me to accept the supremacy of this King of Mithai. But one has to accept that gulab jamun has a more comforting and satisfying feel to it.

Gulab jamun being crowned as Pakistan’s national sweet has led to debates across borders. Nations across the subcontinent — India, Nepal, Bangladesh, and of course Pakistan — are claiming that it belongs to them. The debates on social media are often divisive. Everyone wants to establish that the home of the gulab jamun is their country. The gulab jamun smiles on, basking in its golden glory, while its lovers’ squabble like the “raqeeb” (adversary) in Urdu love poetry of yore would fight for a claim to the beloved.

Fact remains that Pakistan has taken the lead and gulab jamun is now, officially or semi-officially, Pakistan’s national sweet. But looking at the glass half full, here’s what is great about this phenomenon: If in nothing else, Pakistan and India may find themselves on the same page, for once, when it comes to the love of gulab jamun. When all else may have failed to build bridges, this gastronomic delight may do the trick. How sweet!

http://tns.thenews.com.pk/king-sweets/#.XDxKp7hS81k

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A packed December – When Non-Resident Pakistanis Flock to Pakistan

A month of homecoming, packed with weddings and socialising, can be overwhelming for the visitors and the hosts

A packed December

Pakistan is living with a big hole in its heart. That hole in its heart is Pakistanis who have left for greener or richer pastures, grazing in the economically lucrative lands in Europe, USA, the Middle East, or even down under. With each person who leaves, this hole widens. Rarely do you come across a Pakistani family that is still “whole’. At the hands of this exodus, we have missed out on our best.

Fragmented families suffice with Whatsapp calls and Facetime connections. Most of our friends of school and college are somewhere far away. Every other home has children who have left for better education and exposure, with parents very aware that once they go, they might make new homes in faraway lands. Yet we are making these choices, every day, seeing this migration as the chance at better lives and better futures.

Yes, Pakistan is indeed living with a big hole in its heart.

But come December and that hole starts to fill up — unnaturally and temporarily.

Birds, mammals, fish — the animal kingdom is full of examples of seasonal migrations. Humans have a history of doing it too — for agricultural harvesting, for grazing their cattle, for finding summer or winter jobs.

But what is happening in urban Pakistan is unprecedented. December is the month that non-resident Pakistanis choose collectively to visit their birthland. This includes our children who are studying in universities abroad or offspring who are working abroad — they get their winter break in December. While this should mean a time for families spending time together and re-bonding, it often does not end up being so, as social commitments seem to multiply by a hundred, if not a thousand, in December.

On an average December weekend, people are invited to anywhere between two to four weddings a day. With weddings come preceding or subsequent shopping sprees. The fact that Pakistanis who are now used to cooler climates request that relatives in Pakistan keep weddings in winters, and want to visit a city like Karachi not when it is 40 degrees Celsius but a milder 15 degrees is understandable. And so it is.

Overcrowded shopping malls and eateries, breakfasts, brunches, lunches and dinners. Traffic on the streets. Late nights. On the peripheries there are the day trips to beaches, farmhouses, or even the occasional trip to a village or a smaller town, because we love to romanticise villages, poverty, and the ‘colourful culture of small towns’. Even Karachi’s infamous viral fevers, cough and flu cannot deter the incomers nor their hosts.

What does this mean for us the resident Pakistanis? Put in simple words, we have to put our lives on hold. While we continue going to work or running everyday errands, we have to accommodate a lot more and wish that each day was not 24 but 48 hours.

As Pakistanis, our most important and unavoidable way of showing affection is feeding people. The stomachs of our guests from abroad go into culture shocks as instead of soups, salads, sandwiches, less spicy and less oily food, they are offered nothing less than nihari, qorma and katakat, dripping in oil and followed by halwas in desi ghee. No amount of antibiotics they may have taken in precaution helps. It is tough on the tummies, but saying no is difficult to the overzealous resident Pakistanis. But it is not really anyone’s fault. This is our way, as a nation, that we show love and care — we feed people. Also, if we don’t offer a meal or go to meet our guests, it will be said “yeh log buhut badal gaye hain” (they have changed).

There are, you see, dynamics of Pakistanis who live abroad. If they left Pakistan 30 years ago, they have an image of Pakistan frozen in time. Their relatives who were young teenagers listening to George Michael and Madonna when they left are now gray-haired and popping blood thinners into their system, parenting children who are millenials. Of course Pakistan has changed, and yes the people have changed, because societies are fluid and not static. But there is an unsaid pressure on those still living in Pakistan to pretend that we are still the same.

It is also not easy for those visiting Pakistan. Too many people to visit, to meet, to give gifts, to stay connected with. Too many obligations. And at times, if not always, the pressure to pretend that they are still connected to these people in terms of culture, whereas the reality is that exposure and life experiences change us. We evolve.

While this December influx of people means an air of festivity and excitement, more money coming into Pakistani economy, and lots of feasting and meeting-up, it can be overwhelming for both the visitors and the hosts. Why not have weddings in March or September? Or visits to Pakistan in February or October? Too much of a good thing dilutes the effect. Let’s space it out, shall we?

PS: Relatives, siblings and friends visiting Pakistan in December, please don’t write me off after reading this, and believe me when I say I love you all visiting. Promise.

http://tns.thenews.com.pk/packed-december/#.XDxJpbhS81k

No time to sensationalise – How Media Reports Suicide

The journalists reporting on suicide in Pakistan are not really trained to do so. They are learning as they go along by trial and error

No time to sensationalise

Death induced by suicide is a life cut short by self-directed violence. It finds its way in the newspapers and news TV channel segments readily. Often mediapersons reporting it do not know what an important part of the equation they are: With every suicide, there is an unfortunate but important duty laid on the shoulders of the mediaperson working on that news story. Will this opportunity be used to raise awareness, and perhaps help save lives from a similar fate? Or will it be just another sensationalised bit of news?

The choice is ours. We, the journalists, have important work to do in society as relayers of information. This must be done carefully, consciously, and sincerely.

But when it comes to mental health issues, particularly suicide, is it really the fault of the journalist, when he or she has never been trained in the subject?

Journalists have “beats” to report on; health is an important beat — public health, sexual and reproductive health, maternal and child health, and other sub-specialties under the health beat.

However, there has been no formal training of Pakistani journalists to date on how to have mental health as a beat, and how to report on it. If a journalist has organically acquired a certain sensitivity to report on delicate issues, then he or she will apply it when reporting on suicide as well. Yet journalists may often get lost in the quagmire of details when reporting on a suicide. Details like the where, when and how. The opportunity of raising awareness on the issue is often lost in such reporting.

This year in June, fashion designer Kate Spade and celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain died by suicide just days apart. There have been relatively well known Pakistanis who died after committing suicide. This has shed media light on the subject. A study on ‘Newspaper Coverage of Suicide‘ done at Sindh University by Mahesar RA states that “One person, after every 16 minutes, dies not merely because of accident or any other disease but intentionally because of suicide [sic]”.

However, the journalists reporting on it in Pakistan are not really trained to do so. They are learning as they go along by trial and error. The subject of “suicide” — and mental health on the macro level — is staring at us in the face as an unavoidable news beat. But the lack of training leaves means we are making mistakes.

Reporting on suicide, and mental health issues, is a huge responsibility, as well as an opportunity to make a difference. These are not stories to be sensationalised. These are not lifestyle or entertainment stories.

One of the most common mistakes is extreme positions taken by the media when reporting on suicide. One extreme is stigmatising and re-stigmatising both the person who committed suicide as well as the family. The sad music while reporting on suicide on tv, the hackneyed jargon, the nuanced but audible judgment in the news report — it all shows a lack of objectivity.

However, the other dangerous extreme is romanticising the act of suicide — of glorifying it, and instead of presenting facts about this act of extreme self-directed violence, perpetuating myths about it and calling it a “choice.” With the suicides of the aforementioned celebrities (Spade and Bourdain) experts began talking about the risk of triggering what is called the “Suicide Contagion.”

Experts of mental health affirm that suicide (of one or multiple well-known people), can lead to an increase in suicidal behaviour among people who are already at a risk of it. Thus, it is important that these news reports do not just mull over details and allude to it as a heroic act, but present the fact, which is that suicide is, in a majority of cases, linked to mental health issues.

Suicide almost always is not something that happens suddenly out of the blue. It has been considered by the person earlier. There may have been warning signs which people close to the person may have missed. An article published by International Journalists Network titled, Guidelines for Reporting about Suicide, aptly suggests to journalists that they must not suggest that a suicide was caused by a single event. “Suicide is complex, and is often the outcome of different causes, including mental illness — whether recognised and treated or not,” says the article.

Giving details of the method employed for the suicide may also contribute to the suicide contagion. Graphic details and photographs are not only disrespectful and insensitive to the deceased and the bereaved family, but also end up giving ideas to those who may be thinking on the same lines.

Care must be exercised even when writing an obituary for the person who left this world — whether as a journalist on a news platform or as a friend or peer on the many social media platforms. Be careful of the language you use. And most importantly, focus objectively on that person’s life instead of the methodology of death.

Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf’s then presidential nominee, Arif Alvi, had publicly suggested a readily available 24/7 psychiatric helpline in September 2018. In November 2018, the President, while addressing the 22nd International Psychiatric Conference organised by Pakistan Psychiatric Society (PPS) said that everyone should play his role for establishing a healthier society in the country. The government can and must play its role too in this regard, and the media can play its role by reminding policymakers and those in positions of power to recognise that mental health must be put on the forefront of the list of priorities when it comes to public health.

WHO’s 2014 report, “Preventing suicide: a global imperative” estimates that for every suicide there are at least 10–20 acts of Deliberate Self Harm (DSH). By this estimate, there may be between 130,000 to 270,000 acts of DSH in Pakistan annually. This means that there are signs before the actual act of suicide is completed. Journalists must include then, after consulting a mental health doctor or therapist, some points about how to recognise the signs that a person may be inching towards suicide, and what can be done to help such a person. The reader can also be directed towards Suicide Prevention Helplines.

Reporting on suicide, and mental health issues, is a huge responsibility, as well as an opportunity to make a difference. These are not stories to be sensationalised. These are not lifestyle or entertainment stories. These are stories that come under the beat of “health”. Once journalists recognise this, the reporting will become more responsible. Most importantly, out of these dark and seemingly hopeless news stories, there can emerge a ray of hope — the hope that if reporting is done intelligently and carefully, it may help spread much needed awareness. It may help someone out there. It may help save a life.

http://tns.thenews.com.pk/time-sensationalise/#.XDxIJbhS81k

Antibiotic overkill – How Pakistanis are putting themselves at risk of antibiotic resistance

Treatment for viral diseases is leading to drug-resistant infections

Antibiotic overkill
We are sitting on the brink of a health disaster. Humans may again reach a stage where even small cuts, minor injuries and seemingly innocuous infections can prove to be killers — all of these are conditions that can be effectively treated by antibiotics. Misuse and overuse of antibiotics is building in our systems resistance to these drugs and a time comes when these medicines are no longer effective in fighting the bacteria and infections they were designed to ward off.

Antibiotic resistance is leading to untreatable infections. Any age group can be affected by it. If care and caution is not exercised in the use of antibiotics, humans could be in serious trouble. We already are, if numbers are to be believed. Self-medication and use of antibiotics without thinking twice is a problem. The fact that Pakistan has, as reported by the Pakistan Medical Association, more than 600,000 quacks who pose as doctors and prescribe antibiotics without any need or deliberation, exacerbates the issue.antibiotic-awareness-poster 1

It is very common practice to go to “pharmacies” which are usually counters in grocery stores, run by people who are not pharmacists, and ask for any random antibiotic that the patient feels “suits” him or her. While it may have been effective the last time you used it, and the time before that, this time it may not work as you have developed resistance to it.

“We see a lot of antibiotic misuse at the hands of general practitioners as well as quacks. The urgency to use antibiotic sometimes also arises from patients demanding that they return with some medication if they have visited a doctor,” says Dr. Nosheen Nasir, Senior Instructor, Adult Infectious Diseases at the Aga Khan University (AKU).

“We see antibiotics being used for viral upper respiratory tract infections and for presumed enteric fever based on typhidot results which are erroneous and misleading.” Dr Nasir adds that antibiotic overuse can lead to increase in drug-resistant infections and significantly increase the risk of morbidity mortality. “Infections which were previously simple to treat now require use of more toxic and expensive antibiotics which are usually given intravenously, leading to unnecessary prolonged hospitalisations.”

World Antibiotic Awareness Week (WAAW), held from November 12 to 18 this year, aims at increasing global awareness of antibiotic resistance, AMR (Antimicrobial resistance) and to encourage best practices. AMR occurs when microbes, such as bacteria, become resistant to the drugs used to treat them. The 2018 WAAW campaign has two key messages: “Think twice. Seek Advice” and “Misuse of Antibiotics puts us all at Risk”.

AMR, as Dr. Nasir adds, refers to resistance among all kinds of micro organisms such as bacteria, fungi, parasites etc. when they are exposed to antimicrobials including antibiotics and antifungals.

She shares an example of antimicrobial resistance that we are facing today in Pakistan. “People get a lot of antibiotics unnecessarily for presumed typhoid fever, also called enteric fever. This has led to a country-wide outbreak of extended drug resistant (XDR) typhoid fever, sensitive to only two antibiotics, one of which can only be given intravenously. This has led to serious life threatening infections particularly in children,” she says.

November 2018 also saw “Call to Action on Antimicrobial Resistance” from November 19 to 20, co-hosted as a second global event by the UN Foundation to help drive action to stop the rise and spread of superbugs. Dr. Fatima Mir, Assistant Professor of Pediatric Infectious Disease at the AKU, explains that “Super bugs are germs which over time have become resistant to common antibiotics through new mechanisms.” She cites some of the lethal super bugs in Pakistan as under:

1.Multidrug resistant gram negative organisms like klebsiella pneumoniae, e.coli and serratia, leading to newborn sepsis.

2.Extended spectrum beta lactamase inhibiting (ESBL) gram negatives like e.coli, klebsiella, enterobactor sp, which can cause gut, abdominal and urine infections in all ages

3.Penicillin resistant streptococcus pneumonia, causing lower respiratory tract infections in all ages

4.Multidrug resistant Typhoid, effecting all ages

5.Multidrug resistant Tuberculosis (TB), affecting all ages

In Dr Mir’s professional experience, Pakistanis generally have a tendency to hurry towards antibiotics, “Especially in cases of Upper Respiratory tract illnesses which are usually viral but also associated with symptoms which make one miserable, like congested nose, throat and body aches, parents feel kids won’t get better without antibiotics, and most physicians succumb to pressure and prescribe antibiotics even for clearly viral illnesses.” She adds that one reason for over prescription is lack of low-cost testing to establish a viral cause. “Usually a full course of antibiotics is cheaper than a test for a single viral antigen, so physicians make a misplaced choice of empiric antibiotics to appease parents (of child patients) in place of expensive testing for an essentially self-resolving viral illness,” she says.antibiotic-awareness-poster 1

The problem of resistance to drugs affects all age groups. The elderly are not spared either. Only tests conducted in the laboratory can confirm whether the cause is viral or bacterial. Lack of mobility of elders to go or be taken to laboratories, plus general caretaker fatigue that sets in when an elderly patient has been dependent for long, means a lot of elderly people end up getting even fewer lab tests run on them than patients of other ages.

The easiest way out is to start them on antibiotics without getting even a simple test done like the “culture” which tells which antibiotics would still be effective for that particular patient. “As older patients may not manifest with typical symptoms of infection, antibiotics are frequently given often causing antibiotic resistance. They often may not have fever, and the infection may only manifest as weakness. This practice can be curbed if investigations are done early to confirm infection prior to starting antibiotic,” says Dr Saniya Sabzwari, Geriatric Specialist at the AKU.

In 2017, a “National Action Plan” was drafted by the Health Ministry in Pakistan to fight antimicrobial resistance, developed in the light of the five strategic objectives listed by the World Health Organisation’s (WHO) Global Action Plan for AMR.

Between the years 2000 and 2010, global consumption of antibiotics has increased by 30 per cent. Some 700,000 people die every year from infections that don’t respond to antibiotics. If this is not controlled, AMR could cause 10 million deaths each year by 2050; this number would be more than the deaths caused by cancer.

While over-dosage leads to antibiotic resistance and other serious side effects, under-dosing is a problem too. “This means that the drug, even if chosen correctly, is ineffective because it cannot reach effective concentration in blood. Incorrect dosage is one of the main contributors to antibiotic resistance in addition to incorrect usage,” says Dr. Mir.

http://tns.thenews.com.pk/antibiotic-overkill-2/?fbclid=IwAR2-HxUffRu4YBqq28ssqZof7LnKQDMCoG04GsvnvS_FnQt-pKNWEyBIW-Q#.XAJgG81oQ1k

One against twenty – The only differently-abled candidate in Elections 2018

Differently-abled Raza Shah is contesting elections from PS-103, and probably he is the only such candidate

One against twenty
He dreams of climbing the K-2 one day. But contesting against 20 heavyweight contestants in Karachi’s thickly populated and ethnically diverse constituency PS-103 is possibly tougher than climbing a mountain, especially if one is an independent candidate who does not have the backing of the affluent.

For Raza Shah, the fact that he is one of the few, or possibly Pakistan’s only differently-abled contestant for the upcoming general elections 2018, his being a polio survivor is not his biggest limitation. “We live in a world where political parties politicise everything to win the elections. If there were other differently-abled contestants, they would have been highlighted by the big parties by now for sure,” says 36-years-old Shah.

For everyone in their lives, there is one moment of epiphany. So it was for Shah who, witnessing the issues people like him faced and the fact that they had no one to solve the problems, realised he must step up. “For every problem, one had to either contact political bigwigs through networks and contacts, or through giving money. The people who were our points of contact knew nothing about our problems. I thought to myself ‘why can’t I be that point of contact?’.”

From 8am to 3am, Shah and his core group of supporters knock door to door in their constituency for the Sindh Assembly seat PS-103. Gradually, people are getting convinced, and the response is very positive, according to Shah, because he is one of them. But it hasn’t been easy. “Har party ke hissay kee gaaliyan bhi mein ne khayi hain (I have been hearing abuses in place of the other political parties),” he laughs and says, because when he goes to convince people, they ask what can he do if those political giants could do nothing, only to be convinced that here is a man who actually has the will to fight the odds and help his community. And the will is perhaps all it takes.

Campaigning has taught him a lot, as interacting one-on-one teaches what hours on the podium giving speeches doesn’t. “I have also learnt that our people are very hospitable and make sure you take chai or cold drinks, but there are no public toilets in Karachi,” he says, pointing out a legitimate issue in the garb of humour.

While newspapers proudly sported the headline given by Election Commission of Pakistan (ECP) that disabled people are being facilitated and are allowed to vote through postal ballot, where is that much-awaited headline that says that differently-abled people are contesting elections? Yes there are reserved seats for them but is that enough? For Shah, his contesting the elections is also about making a point about social inclusion. Parties like Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf (PTI) and Pakistan People’s Party (PPP) have sections in their manifesto talking about ensuring rights of the differently-abled.

Campaigning has taught him a lot, as interacting one-on-one teaches what hours on the podium giving speeches doesn’t.

Other major political parties have not even bothered to do that. However, Shah feels that this is all good to the extent of manifestos only, but Pakistan’s differently-abled need more than just job quotas. They need their voices heard. “Practically, no one has fielded differently-abled candidates from their parties, have they?” says Shah who contracted polio at the age of one and a half. “Every day is a fight, living with this [disability]. If I can fight this, I can do more.”

An optimist, Shah feels that more and more independent candidates will come up in elections over time. “Voters will also understand over time that those who spend crores on election campaigns will obviously invest that much to earn it all and more back after the elections. It is independent candidates who are focused on solving people’s problems because they are in it to serve their communities,” he adds. His election symbol is brick. “It is a symbol of constructing something. It reflects the ideology of progress.”

Shah also does not see his disability as his claim to fame. “I tell people that if I can contest elections with limitations like being an independent candidate, putting up a fight against representatives of Pakistan’s biggest political parties, and on top of it being differently-abled, then so can you. I am a reality. I am part of the equation, even though I have limitations. Unless citizens like me stand up for themselves, and gain the strength to help their communities, no one is going to help us.”

http://tns.thenews.com.pk/one-twenty/#.W3Uw2ugzbIU

As the door opens to guests…

While much remains the same when it comes to traditions of eid, there is a lot that has changed

As the door opens to guests…
A wave of nostalgia grips most of us when we reminisce about eid of bygone years.

The countdown to eid would begin the day the Ramzan moon was sighted. As children, we would go out in the garden or on the roof and try to catch a glimpse of the moon on chand raat. Thereon the preparations would begin.

The sewaiyyan, the sheer khorma, the mehndi, the glass bangles, the trolley set for guests, the giddy excitement whenever the bell rung, the eidee…eid was festivity at its best.

Eid is the highlight of the year for so many of us. Or is it? While much remains the same when it comes to traditions of eid, there is much that has changed.

For starters, on eid one could just go and ring a relative or neighbour’s bell, go in for a treat, and enjoy. There was an excitement in the anticipation of who would come to visit. However, over time the concept of “Open House” was introduced. There is now a specific time on which the doors open to guests. If you miss that time window, it is unlikely that you will get a chance to go there again.

Faster times. A faster world. Another thing that has changed is the practicality. If we have met someone on the first day of eid as they visited you or met you at your grandmother’s, we no longer want to meet the same people again by visiting them, unlike the earlier culture of exchange visits, where if someone visited you, it was a must that you also visited them.

There are also lesser of the big, gigantic eid get-togethers at the homes of the elders of the family, simply because families have grown and multiplied, house help is less readily available or affordable, and quite frankly it’s too much work for the overworked daughters-in-law or daughters who used to be doing the tough work of pulling off lunches for 80 people every eid. Yes, our societal dynamics are in flux, if not completely altered.

Some 20 years ago, girls were so conditioned to put mehndi on their hands for eid that it never even occurred to them that eid could be without mehndi. From the crushed raw henna leaves era to the chemical-filled henna cone era, and now to the glitter-filled henna tattoos — henna still remains a part of the eid tradition. But many no longer choose to have it applied. Some find it itchy, others don’t like the smell, and yet others feel it looks very unprofessional to go to office the 4th day of eid with henna peeling off one’s palms.

There are also lesser of the big, gigantic eid get-togethers at the homes of the elders of the family, simply because families have grown and multiplied, house help is less readily available or affordable, and quite frankly it’s too much work for the overworked daughters-in-law or daughters.

Some things may have changed for the better, though. While a majority of women still don’t get why they should also go to the mosque for eid prayers, mainly because their men still don’t get it, there is a growing number of Pakistani women at least in the major cities that do go for eid namaz. I happen to be one of them and I can say safely that it is a beautiful experience that acts like a bridge between Ramzan and the rest of the year.

In the absence of going for eid namaz, the spirituality and the connection with the Creator one has inched towards in Ramzan is suddenly lost on eid morning, and eid becomes just another day, barring the eating and meeting and dressing up.

As for eidee, it still remains an intrinsic part of eid, and children (they could be in their 40s for all you know) look up to their elders in the hope of that coveted envelope. However, in earlier times one would give eidee to any and every younger person one met. Now parents have become smarter and more calculative. They have separate lifafas (envelopes) for those who give to their children generously, compared to those who give smaller sums.

Read also: Eid with Maria

But perhaps the most obvious change is that so many of us use eid holidays for vacationing. With the number of Pakistani expatriates increasing by the minute, and a few family members travelling on eid for vacationing, there is that void that not having one family member leaves for the rest, especially on happy occasions. Add to it that many parents can be seen complaining that their children sleep it out on the eid day.

But there are some beautiful traditions of eid that continue to date. Giving (starting with the fitranah), feeding (the sewaiyyan above all), sharing (eidee is sharing money, isn’t it), reconnecting with relatives, looking good, feeling good, and celebrating having gotten the opportunity of another Ramzan. It is hoped that this — the real spirit of eid — will survive the test of time.

http://tns.thenews.com.pk/door-opens-guests/#.W3UwzegzbIV

In Pakistan, restaurants only care if you fast, but not if you pray

 Published: June 8, 2018
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Muslim women activists pray the Maghrib sunset prayer before Iftar outside Trump Tower in New York, US, on June 1, 2017. PHOTO: REUTERS

“Fast, pray, feast!”

This attractive marketing tagline, alongside tempting pictures of food, is being circulated by a well-known eatery this Ramazan, as is the case every year. Not only is the food tempting, but also the deals. And why not? When one opens their fast at sunset in this most special month for Muslims, delicious food is but a must.

But there is one issue. While they openly marketed the “pray” bit, there is no place for praying if you go to said eatery for an iftar deal. A young girl I spoke with who went there with her friend said the staff looked shocked when she asked where she could pray.

“They said we have no arrangements, because no one wants to pray generally, barring very few people. I told them I am from those very few and you must help me; I need a very tiny corner for just five minutes. At my insistence, they made me stand between tables crowded with people. It was a very uncomfortable experience. Not going there again in Ramazan.”

This is not just about one restaurant or café. Except a few places, you can literally count on your fingers how a majority of restaurants milk the blessings of Ramazan by introducing dealswhich help increase their sales, but do not have the sensitivity towards those customers who want to pray.

This has been a topic of discussion on social media and otherwise since years, but nothing seems to come out of it. I have prayed on dusty floors, with music playing and people passing in front of me, whenever I dared to go for an iftar meal. The problem for women is even more pronounced, because men can go for prayers to a nearby mosque if need be, but except for limited mosques that allow women to pray, there is no concept of mosques as public spaces for women.

Ironically, many mosques allow women to come for Taraweeh prayers in Ramazan, a voluntary prayer, but will not open their doors to women for the obligatory five prayers.

As someone who has been trying to bring this issue to the attention of the owners and the management of restaurants for years, their responses on social media have been less than empathetic.

“Why do you need to go and eat out in Ramazan if you are so religious? Do your iftar at home. Can’t you live without eating out?”

These, and other stronger reactions, are normal now. It is as if people who want to pray in Ramazan are not welcome to mingle in society and go out to eat, and are meant to stay in bubbles or at home.

Sure, one can do iftar mostly at home. But there are times you are invited to go out. And there are times you feel like going out to eat. The reverse discrimination against people who attempt at being practicing Muslims in the Islamic Republic of Pakistan is real. On the other hand, I have experienced refreshing cooperation from non-Muslim friends and from strangers while traveling abroad whenever I needed to pray.

This issue is not just specific to Ramazan. However, in other months of the year, one can plan to go out to eat at a time when prayers are not disturbed. But when fasting, this is not a possibility.

There are many possible solutions to this, and some select restaurants have employed these solutions. For example, a well-known oriental restaurant in Clifton has made arrangements not just for their own customers to pray, but also welcomes customers of nearby eateries. At other places, they request you to pray quickly and by turn, but have the good sense to at least keep prayer mats. But such restaurants are numbered.

So here’s sincerely requesting restaurants: the next time you use the Ramazan tagline to boost your sales, have enough empathy to reserve a small corner of your restaurant for 15 minutes so that those who want to pray can do so with ease. If for nothing else, then in the spirit of the compassion that Ramazan is all about.

https://blogs.tribune.com.pk/story/67756/in-pakistan-restaurants-only-care-if-you-fast-but-not-if-you-pray/