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Seven common mistakes Pakistani women make at the masjid

It is wonderful to see more and more women in Pakistan, especially in urban centres, developing a flavour to be part of congregational worship at mosques (masaajid), especially for the taraweeh prayers in Ramadan, and Eid prayers. The prophet (pbuh) not only encouraged but directed women to be part of the Eid congregation in particular, so that they get a feel of collective worship and feel part of the extended community. Also, prayers said in congregation give us 27 times more reward according to authentic ahadith, which is a great incentive.

But while the trend has caught on, the adaab or the decorum of HOW to say our prayers collectively is missing, and causes problems. The men are very trained in the art of ba jama’at prayers since a young age, but women are mostly and unaware, and even resistant to being advised to do better.

badshahi

Here are seven common mistakes we make, pointed out in the hope that these ahadith will help us perform our prayers at the masjid correctly.

1. Row over the rows:

What basically is the purpose of congregational worship, when we can pray in the peace of our home as well? The purpose is to develop equality and a sense of community, which makes the spirit of sharing a must. But many women in Pakistan, new to the idea, do not know the adab of praying in rows. They insist upon bringing their own prayer mats that take up the space that could accommodate one and a half person. Thus, there are huge gaps between the women praying.

Narrated Anas bin Malik (RA): The Prophet (pbuh) said, “Straighten your rows for I see you from behind my back.” Anas added, “Every one of us used to put his shoulder with the shoulder of his companion and his foot with the foot of his companion.”

( Bukhari).

Foot close to your neighbour’s foot, shoulder close to your neighbour’s shoulder – that is the way. But we become so selfish that we are unwilling to make space for people who join in. Mosques that allow women are already limited in number. If everyone starts taking up too much space, fewer people will get the chance. How can one develop a feeling of equality or brotherhood if we don’t even share space? The Quran advises us:

“O you who have believed, when you are told, “Space yourselves” in assemblies, then make space; Allah will make space for you.” (58:11). Selfishness makes our worship worthless.

Another problem is that rows are not formed straight and properly.

An-Numan bin Bashir (RA) said, “Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) used to straighten our rows, as if he was straightening an arrow, until he saw that we had learned it. Then he came out one day and was about to say Takbir when he noticed a man whose chest was sticking out from the row. He said: Slaves of Allah! Make your rows straight or Allah will cause discord among you.”

(Sahih Muslim, Sunan Ibn Majah).

Another huge issue is that if someone leaves the jama’at for any reason in between prayers, or their are empty spaces in the front rows, women do not fill those spaces. They want to pray with their own sister, mom or friend. Thus, gaps remain.

Jabir bin Samurah (RA) narrated that Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said, “Do you not (wish to) line up just like the angels line up in front of their Lord?” We asked, “And how do the angels line up in front of their Lord?” He said, “They complete (& fill-up) the first row, and they line up closely in the rows.”

( Sunan Abu Dawud, Sunan An-Nasa’i, Sunan Ibn Majah).

2. Not knowing how to move between rows when prayers are underway

To begin with, one must avoid to the fullest not to pass in front of someone in prayer. Especially  if someone passes in front of the one who is praying, i.e., in the area between the spot where he puts his forehead when he prostrates and where he stands, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “If the one who passes in front of a person who is praying knew what (a burden of sin) he bears, it would be better for him to stand for forty rather than pass in front of him.”  (Bukhari, Muslim). 

However, in emergent situations, one has to, or in some situations wants to join prayers even if one has come in late.

In that situation, one can use what is called a “Sutrah” or a barrier. The size of the Sutrah is something over which opinions have differed. The hadith here gives an idea about the size.

And it was narrated that Talhah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “If one of you puts something in front of him that is like the back of a saddle, then let him pray and not worry about anyone who passes beyond that.” (Narrated by Muslim.)

However, what if you one must pass through the rows and those praying do not have a Sutrah? The simple answer is that in that situation, pass through vertically, as the rows are formed horizontally. This way, one can avoid passing in front of the one praying.

3. Going into rukoo’ and sajda before the Imam

Ladies, what is the hurry? The Imam has barely begun saying “Allah u Akbar” and you are already in rukoo’ and sajda. Remember, the Imam is leading the prayer, so wait a few seconds till you are sure that he or she has gone ahead, and then follow. the same holds true for saying the salaam.

The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said:

“Surely the imam is there to be followed.” (Muslim)

So our actions should not precede the Imam’s.

4. Not knowing how to join the jama’at if the prayer has already started

Commonly, if the jama’at has started, women make their place in rows but start praying their own individual prayer that causes confusion to those close by. So here’s the thing: If you have joined in late and the prayer has already started, no problem. If you join in any raka’at at a time that you had the chance to join in for Surah Al-Fateha or recite it yourself, and the Imam had not yet gone in rukoo’, then you can count that raka’at in. What you simply need to do is that when the Imam says his/her salaam, you don’t say it and instead stand up and complete the raka’at you missed. In that case, it is possible that you end up saying at-Tahayyat even upto thrice if you, say, joined in the second raka’at. In that case, each time say your at-Tahayyat but say the rest of the duas in your last raka’at.

5. Fidgeting and rocking

It is true that it’s not easy to manage the scarves, that chadars and the dupattas that tend to slip off during prayers. So it is best to fix them properly before namaz starts so that one is not distracted during prayers.

Also, we women tend to rock forward and backward during prayers, especially if we are listening to a beautiful recitation of the Quran. Yet, composure is a must during prayers.

All unnecessary movements must be avoided. See this:

When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was asked about smoothing the earth before prostrating, he said, “Do not wipe it when you are praying; if you have to, then just smooth the gravel once.” ( Abu Dawud,  Saheeh al-Jaami’).

6. Scolding women with children

If your own children are now grown up, chances are that you have forgotten how tough it is, and how much a mother misses saying prayers peacefully. Yes, little kids can be a bother at mosques or even at a Quran study circle, but how will they observe and learn unless they come?

So merciful was the Prophet (pbuh) that he (pbuh) said:

“When I enter the prayer I intend to prolong it. Then I hear the crying of a child, so I shorten it knowing the difficulty his mother will have with him crying.” [Bukhari]

He never stopped mothers from bringing children to the mosque, neither did he ever stop mothers from coming themselves. However, mothers should realize their share of the responsibility and watch out if their children wander off or get out of control. But scolding little children by elder women leaves a very bad impact on the child’s mind who may become averse to mosques for life. Remember the hadith that says

“He, who does not show mercy to others, will not be shown mercy.” [Bukhari]

7. Not knowing how to say Takbeeraat during Eid prayers

There are additional Takbeeraat (saying Allahu Akbar) during the Eid congregational prayers.

The step by step directions to that can be found on the internet.

It was reported from ‘A’ishah: the Takbeer of (Eid) al-Fitr and (Eid) al-Adhaa is seven in the first rak’ah and five in the second, apart from the takbeer of rukoo’.

[ Abu Dawood; Ibn Majah ]

Best to ask the men in your house before you go, as they are mostly experts at it.

Are Pakistani women ready to go for Eid namaz?

By Farahnaz Zahidi Published: August 8, 2013

Maybe it’s time for the men to rethink; maybe it’s time Pakistani women head for Eid namaz in Pakistan. PHOTO: AFP

Once upon a time, Ammi used to have a list of exciting chores ready for her girls when Eid day arrived. This was the drill: Abba and brothers go for Eid namaz, and while they are gone, we, the women, had to make taaza (fresh) sheer khorma, change bed linen and table cloths (it was some family ritual, I think), get ready, pray the short Eid namaz at home, and be happily ready for the guys to return and give us Eidi.

On Bari Eid (Eidul Azha), a slight modification would be to get ready after the meat was distributed and done with; however, the rest remained the same.

It was all lovely. I am thankful that my mother made sure Eid was splendidly exciting for our family, and that we didn’t spend Eid morning catching up on sleep.

Just one thing was sorely missing in these otherwise lovely, fun family mornings of this most important festival. Like a majority of Pakistani women, we never went for Eid namaz.

We, culturally, do not think about traditions; we just follow them. Often, we don’t even know why we are doing a certain thing. We just do it because everyone else does. And so for the longest time, I never really questioned why we celebrated Eid. The emphasis was on the festivity and celebration, not on why it was such a big deal, just like we prepare for months and years for the wedding, not the marriage. Somewhere, the essence dwindles away.

That’s what my Eid was like for a long time.

Years later, a friend randomly invited me to come along with her on Eid namaz.

I could not say no because I knew by then through authentic prophetic traditions that the Holy Prophet (pbuh) had in fact strongly advised women to go for Eid namaz and join in the collective prayers of the festival.

And so I went.

It wasn’t easy the first time, in all honesty. My daughter was still young and it was winter time. Dragging a little child out of bed, getting her and myself ready early on Eid morning when your body is already sleep-deprived after a month of interrupted sleep – it wasn’t easy. Also, till then my family wasn’t so convinced this was something very important, which meant I had to drive down myself and find a parking outside a crowded mosque. However, am I glad I went. Since that day, I have never missed the opportunity unless there’s been a serious reason.

I found out what men enjoy there and women miss out on. Raising your hands multiple times till your ears and saying “Allahu Akbar” reminds one of why we are celebrating Eid in the first place. It is a celebration of the fact that this past month, we may have inched closer to our Creator. We may have become better human beings; we may have been forgiven this Ramadan; we may be starting with a clean slate and for that, we thank God and rejoice.

Women who go for Eid namaz regularly know that it is not just a spiritual but also a wonderful social experience. The feeling of togetherness and of a community that is swiftly fading in our fast-paced lives is revived. We greet those we know and we greet those we don’t know, and we don’t really care who makes the first move. We congratulate each other and set out with our families after that to eat, meet, greet and enjoy the blessings God has showered on us.

If you take away the Eid namaz from Eid, there is honestly a sense of disconnect between Ramadan and the rest of the year, starting on Chand Raat. We have this 30-day crash course in connection with the Divine, in charity, in prayers and in goodness, and suddenly, we switch all of that off on Eid morning.

Interestingly, many Pakistani women who have been going for taraweeh throughout Ramadan do not go for Eid namaz. More intriguing is how the same women who regularly go for Eid prayers when abroad do not do so when back home in Pakistan.

While a small but increasing number of Pakistani women are going for Eid namaz to mosques, a majority still don’t. The reasons are predictable; for one, not many mosques have that arrangement. Organisers of mosques will be more open to women’s wings in mosques if more women want to go.

Another reason is simple laziness and time management skills that need improvement. Women who don’t want to miss Eid namaz still make the sheer khorma and still change the linen in a ritualistic manner, but they do it a day before. It also boils down to a lack of awareness about the fact that yes, women are supposed to say their Eid namaz too, just like the men.

Talking of the men – they are often not used to the idea. They don’t mind if their lady was outshopping on Chand Raat till midnight, but will raise their brows quizzically if she says “I want to go for Eid namaz”.

Maybe it’s time for the men to rethink; maybe it’s time Pakistani women head for Eid namaz in Pakistan.

If you are a woman and do decide to go for Eid namaz this time, here are some of the places it will be held at:

  • Faisal Mosque, Islamabad
  • Jamia Masjid DHA, Sector J, Masjid Chowk, Lahore
  • Khalid masjid, Cavalry grounds, Lahore
  • Imambargah Yathrab, Phase 4, DHA, Karachi (For Fiqh-e-Jafria)
  • Ayesha Masjid, Khayaban-e-Ittehad, Karachi
  • Masjid Saad bin Abi Waqqas, Phase 4, DHA, Karachi
  • Quran Academy masjid, Seaview, Karachi
  • Gulistan-e-Anis, off Shaheed-e-Millat road, Karachi
  • Sada bahaar lawn, off Shaheed-e-Millat road, Karachi
  • Masjid Bait-us-Salam, Commercial Avenue, phase 4, DHA, Karach

http://blogs.tribune.com.pk/story/18465/are-pakistani-women-ready-to-go-for-eid-namaz/