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Monthly Archives: October 2015

Is a woman just a ravishing gol roti maker?

Women will do anything it takes to look beautiful

Kate Winslet photographed at the ELLE Women in Hollywood Awards in Los Angeles. PHOTO: AFP

“Aap moon haath dho kar fresh ho jayain. Mein chai laati hoon.”

(You can freshen up. I’ll get you some tea.)

The women uttering this on TV mostly look immaculately well put together, French nail tips and blow dry et al. This sentence deserves the award for the most oft-repeated sentence on Pakistani prime time television. But what is amazing is how good most of the women on our prime time television dramas look while working in kitchen all day, if the dramas are to be believed.

Female news persons are also perfectly painted and coiffured, even if not well versed with current affairs. With our cinematography getting better, any wrinkles left over by what is seen as the scourge of nature after the cosmetologist is done with the plumping and filling of that female face is taken care of by excessive photoshopping, softening, blurring and editing with filters.

At every turn of our heads, gigantic billboards with unnaturally thin, undoubtedly beautiful, seductive and pouting women are seen in layers of fabric.

No one has issues with women looking beautiful. But where is the real woman behind the crutches of exaggerated beautification? What ideas about womanhood are we being fed? Media is limiting a woman’s role in life to not just being a chaaiwali and a gol-roti-maker, but one who is ravishing, thin, fair and lovely, and therein lies the problem. The collective narrative of Pakistani media and advertising shows a woman primarily as an object pleasing to the eye. That, in turn, effects how young women growing up, and even grown women, see themselves.

A recent move by the beauty from Titanic, Kate Winslet, is making news — the “no photoshop clause” in her contract for appearing in L’Oreal ads. She says this is because successful women have a responsibility to young women growing up. Winslet feels that you are programmed as a young woman to immediately scrutinise yourself about how you look. Earlier, Winslet has expressed her views about how it’s okay not to be able to fit into your jeans as a new mom, and is on record telling her 14-year-old daughter that it was good fortune to have curves.

While Winslet remains very concerned about young women, I worry about women of all ages. The peer pressure is immense. Women peer over each pore, each wrinkle and each stretch mark. They call themselves “fat” even when they are not, and feel guilty every time they have four teaspoons of dessert even though they are at a boot camp for fitness. They obsess over how they look much older than their counterparts of a generation or two ago. Women are exceedingly relying on the Instagram and Retrica filters that get rid of the imperfections in photographs, because societal attitudes eventually catch up to us.

The good side to all this is that women are more conscious of their fitness, and enjoy high energy levels, renewed glow in the skin and the spring in their step that they owe to regular workouts, detox waters and healthier diets. They look good and feel good. And that’s all good.

Yet, beyond a limit, it gets too much. When we say 50 is the new 40 and 40 is the new 30, what happens when we don’t look that way?

Does our self-esteem plummet when we put on a few pounds or suffer from hair loss?

Is getting wrinkles and creases on the forehead the end of life?

Is looking good the biggest part of what defines us? And to what extreme are women willing to go to look beautiful?

It’s great to look and feel beautiful. Yet, that’s not all there is to a woman. A self-assured gait, witty humour, an intelligent conversation, a sincere heart, a kind soul – all this means more to those who know a woman’s worth. They are the ones worth making an effort for, whether it is the man in a woman’s life or a group of friends.

But the deeper issue is how a woman sees herself. For that, it requires constant effort to remind one’s self of the real you. It would be great if media plays a positive role in this regard, and shows more real women as the admirable ones. But eventually, media or society cannot be blamed in entirety. Women themselves need to remind themselves of who they actually are beneath perfectly contoured faces. As mothers, it’s great if our daughters see their mothers well-kept and maintained. But one is an even better role model if daughters see their mothers as women of substance – women who are secure enough to be their own women. For that, women have to do more with their lives than making looking good a full-time job.

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Taking the city by storm, one wheelie at a time

Karachi’s own female track racer motorcyclist

Published: October 24, 2015
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http://tribune.com.pk/story/978361/knocking-down-gender-roles-taking-the-city-by-storm-one-wheelie-at-a-time/
Mehwish Ekhlaque is one of the few female motorcyclists in the city who still hold a passion for hardcore biking and track racing. She used to ride the two-wheeler with her husband sitting behind until he died. Now, she takes care of her motorcycle on her own. PHOTOS: COURTESY MEHWISH EKHLAQUE

Mehwish Ekhlaque is one of the few female motorcyclists in the city who still hold a passion for hardcore biking and track racing. She used to ride the two-wheeler with her husband sitting behind until he died. Now, she takes care of her motorcycle on her own. PHOTOS: COURTESY MEHWISH EKHLAQUE

KARACHI: In a city where millions of male motorcyclists dominate the roads, with their wives perched behind them, it was refreshing to see Mehwish Ekhlaque riding the two-wheeler with her husband sitting behind.

The woman is one of the very few female motorcyclists in the city who still hold a passion for hardcore biking and track racing.

Miss hits convention out of the park

Three years ago, Ekhlaque lost her biggest support when her husband passed away. “When other women sat behind their husbands on motorcycles, he sat behind me, encouraging me to pursue my passion, telling me to wear the gear so that I look the part of a track motorcyclist,” she remembers fondly.

“When I bought my motorcycle and took it to a mechanic and asked him that I needed a star wheel, he said it was impossible,” she recalls. “So I did it myself with my uncle and then took it back to that mechanic to show him.”

Her Saturday evenings are exclusively for her motorcycle. “I make sure it is polished and looking good for the Sunday rides. I take care of its every little need on my own,” she points out. “If you give your motorcycle love and respect, it will love and respect you back.”

Egyptian female cyclists pedal for acceptance

In pursuance of her passion, Ekhlaque has not encountered any problems. “The men are helpful. They say ‘madam aap pehle kara lain’ [madam, you go first]. I enjoy the ‘ladies first’ attitude of Pakistani men,” she says. It took her time to get used to being a woman riding a motorcycle on Karachi’s crowded roads and alleys. “At signals, people have sometimes come and lifted my helmet to confirm if I am a woman,” she says with a smile. Sometimes she sees women asking their husbands to teach them also, once they see Ekhlaque gracefully gliding on the roads. “They take selfies with me.” In her experience, she faces no harassment as a female motorcyclist as long as she exudes confidence and does not look vulnerable.

When women perch on one side of the motorcycle as they usually do, Ekhlaque says it is difficult for the rider to balance. “If you are dressed modestly, why should sitting in the proper position on a motorcycle be a problem?”

Café racers

Recently, Ekhlaque became the only woman to have participated in Pakistan’s first-ever Distinguished Gentleman’s Ride (DGR) event in Karachi in September this year. The DGR is an international event that takes place in about 80 countries to increase awareness and raise funds for the treatment of prostate cancer.

On her motorcycle, 26-year-old girl glides through Karachi

The DGR was brought to Pakistan by Faisal Malik, the founder of café racer group  Throttle Shrottle, who aims to get Pakistani women to ride motorcycles, and that too for more than just commuting purposes. “I had to search for a female motorcyclist ready to hit the tracks, and reassure Mahwish’s family that she will be made to feel secure and respected in this group,” he points out.

The event received an overwhelming response in Pakistan with more than 250 bikers registered in Karachi, Lahore and Islamabad. To participate in the event, there are two requirements — participants must be dressed in formal attire, and be riding vintage or custom-modified motorcycles. Ekhlaque fulfilled both criteria.

For Malik, being a café racer is ‘an attitude’. “It helps the rider develop a certain kind of a personality,” he says, adding that the café racer is synonymous with being a rocker or a rebel. Malik’s group mates, mostly aged between 30 and 40 years, may not all fit the rocker image but they do ride custom-made or modified motorbikes, which the rider can create according to his or her own specifications.  The starting price can be as less as Rs100,000 and is thus affordable for most enthusiasts. “Harley Davidson is an off-the-shelf product while a café racer is something you yourself have put together — a fusion of sorts,” he says. “Like an artist’s painting.”

*Longer version of this story in available on tribune.com.pk

Published in The Express Tribune, October 24th, 2015.