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She Never Knew…….


She never knew till it happened

That someone who was her joy could be her biggest sorrow

And the sorrow could actually ache, physically

That words that had hurt would sting like a wound splashed with salt

…long after they had been said

They always say nostalgia is selective….that all you remember from the past is good times…

….like photographs! We store photographs of smiles, of achievements, of vacations & weddings…

Not of broken glass panes or a burnt casserole or of a stab in the heart.

But her nostalgia was her bane…it kept bringing back the hurt…

Sting by sting, prick by prick, tear by tear…

She never knew her nostalgia would consist of visions and sounds and words…

Vision of the look on his face that had told her that love is not always reciprocated

Sound of his feet as he walked away

Words he had said that had actually caused gashes in her heart……

She never knew that she would have to be so on her own

She never knew that long after it was over, hope would linger on

….hope that held her back from waking up to reality

With time, she knew…

She knew that she was stronger than she had given herself credit for

She knew that pain does not ask before coming, but dwelling on that pain or not is a choice she had

And somehow, somewhere, she knew that pain, just like love, is never one-sided

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About FarahnazZahidi

Journalist, writer, blogger & activist. Currently working for The Express Tribune. Focus on human rights, health, gender, peace & Islam. Idealist. Wannabe photographer. Chaai, traveling, reading, friends and motherhood.

One response »

  1. Beautifully expressed !

    Reply

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