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The Tapestry of My Life


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I weave memories of moments that have left footprints on the sand on my heart…..fibre by fibre, thread by thread, nimbly, gently……memories of different colours and shapes and sizes…..

Memories of faces……

….many faces have whizzed past and are nothing but a photograph in creative motion blur….lasting but unclear…..

….Others faces are indelible…..etched…..carved………with each detail……..radiant smiles……living words….a tear drop snuck away carefully…..laughter that reverberates inside me, so distinct that I often turn back to see if that laugh is in the here, is in the now……

Memories of touch……

….the touch of my mother’s caress on my forehead…..the touch of my father’s pat on my back….my hand gliding over the silk of my wedding dress in anticipation…..my finger tracing each feature of my newly born baby girl in my arms….the feel of a pen, and progressively, a keyboard in my hand – my tools for sharing the never-ending rush of ideas and emotions that are piled up waiting to be unleashed; my tools for making a tiny difference in this world……the sense of that first laugh-line at the sides of my lips giving away that I have smiled a lot……the sense of that tear drop of mine I quickly wipe and slide under a smile……

Memories of sound…….

……My parents call me…..my siblings talk to me……my friends laugh at a joke I crack…….my man takes my name with a comforting sense of ownership…..a story of how the day went from my daughter……the sound of my heart pounding inside of me in a moment of excitement or fear, or in a moment of love…..the sound of someone reciting the words of God, forever altering my being……..

…Sounds of the rustle of leaves and the speed of wind and a wave crashing against the rocks and a bird beckoning the morning and the drops of rain lashing against the window….and the sound of a lover crooning in his beloved’s ear, a voice heavy with emotion…

…. I choose to have selective memory…..I sieve and sift and do away with the memory of a face or a touch or a sound that hurts….they re-surface, but I aim to calm down those memoirs….they pale in comparison to the good ones…

I live in today, but memories are an inseparable part of me…They make me the ME I am……

So I weave memories of moments that have left footprints on the sand on my heart…..fibre by fibre, thread by thread, nimbly, gently……memories of different colours and shapes and sizes…..

With these is made the tapestry of my life….

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About FarahnazZahidi

Journalist, writer, blogger & activist. Currently working for The Express Tribune. Focus on human rights, health, gender, peace & Islam. Idealist. Wannabe photographer. Chaai, traveling, reading, friends and motherhood.

5 responses »

  1. beautifully written

    Reply
  2. you`ve captured yr feelings so beautifully… in yr usual inimitable style!

    Reply
  3. Nice… I would have added lattes and blueberry muffin with best friend and those careless hours spent chatting away…
    And my trips… Seeing the world the specialties of different countries – the memorable scenery, monuments, activities, hours…

    Extremely nicely written, random thoughts yet somehow they seem all linked and amazingly have a flow.. Nice :-) mashallah

    Reply
  4. Ayesha Amin Usman

    beautifully written….brought tears to my eyes while a smile still lingered at the lips…mA!

    Reply

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